I've wanted to write a book for years. More specifically, I've wanted to write a book about my experiences of mental illness. So about five years ago, I started putting together a memoir, of everything I've been through living with Bipolar disorder. When it was finished, I sent it to a few publishers....but it wasn't [...]
Tag: stability
Bipolar Myths Debunked

People with Bipolar disorder are just moody There's an idea that bipolar disorder is just mood swings - something everybody has, so isn't a big deal. It is though, very different from everyday mood changes. The highs and lows are extreme and can feel like they come out of the blue, or there is no [...]
Why I’m anxious about seeing a Doctor

I've been putting off seeing my doctor for ages. Why? I'm afraid. Afraid that they won't be able to help me. That they'll fob me off with a 'just keep doing what you're doing' response. Anxious that they'll want to change my medication. Again. I've had a difficult year with medical professionals. Long story short, [...]
To My Online World, And How You’ve Helped Me Grow

TW: Suicidal ideation The period between 2003 - 2013 was a whirlwind of changes for me. The catalyst for these changes came from my online world. A place that held me safely in it’s hands. It was a place without judgement and a community full of compassionate individuals. I could feel the warmth and [...]
101 Things No-one Tells You About Mania

It is more than just being happy Mania makes me feel euphoricMania makes me feel constantly 'on' and readyMania makes me feel a constant sense of anticipationSufferers all have slightly different periods of hypomania and mania. An episode could last daysAn episode could last weeksA hypomanic or manic episode could last monthsMania is not always [...]
What Does ‘Recovery’ Mean?
The word recovery means very different things to different people. The word is problematic and can ultimately be damaging. When people talk about recovery it marginalises those that can't. Some people use the word to describe the process and not an actual milestone. Some see it as having a positive outlook, that they see as [...]
What It’s Like To Have A Mixed Episode Of Bipolar
A couple of weeks ago I had what's called a mixed episode of bipolar disorder. What this means is that I was experiencing mania (the highs) and depression in very short succession, to the point that I felt both at the same time. In this post I wanted to write an account of what it [...]
Stability
I've found myself in a a strange situation. It's one I haven't experienced for years. It's called stability. My life has been full of desperate lows and extreme highs and not much in between. It's been like this for over a decade. It's true I have had periods of stability, but usually they only last [...]