Outlandish thoughts and ideas caused me to put myself in real danger. For years I heard voices that were so real, so dynamic and full of energy, It felt like they were my friends. They’d urge me on and gave me an intense confidence boost. They made me feel like I could achieve anything. The [...]
Tag: mania
I’m Writing A Book!
Yep, the secret is out! I've been offered a publishing contract with Jessica Kingsley Publishers to write a book about bipolar disorder. The book is going to be a practical guide to bipolar disorder. I'll offer tips and advice on how to navigate daily life and how to manage symptoms. All of this will [...]
Bipolar and Credit Cards, Loans and Debt
Mania for me always leads to overspending. I'll spend an exorbitant amount of money on useless, meaningless stuff. Shoes, bags, clothes, collectible toys, lego figurines (yes, really), games consoles, hotel rooms - I could go on and on. I'm not a materialistic person by nature, but with mania I just can't help myself. It's an [...]
Why I’m anxious about seeing a Doctor
I've been putting off seeing my doctor for ages. Why? I'm afraid. Afraid that they won't be able to help me. That they'll fob me off with a 'just keep doing what you're doing' response. Anxious that they'll want to change my medication. Again. I've had a difficult year with medical professionals. Long story short, [...]
To My Online World, And How You’ve Helped Me Grow
TW: Suicidal ideation The period between 2003 - 2013 was a whirlwind of changes for me. The catalyst for these changes came from my online world. A place that held me safely in it’s hands. It was a place without judgement and a community full of compassionate individuals. I could feel the warmth and [...]
Yes, I Do Miss Being Manic
I find myself pining for the person I become when I'm manic. I've written before about how mania isn't always fun. I do miss it at times, no matter how many times I tell myself the negative aspects of it. Mania can be a mind blowing, euphoria filled trip. It's honestly better than any drug [...]
Mental Illness Is Complicated and Some People Just Don’t Get It
I've been really struggling this year... I've been out to gigs with friends. I've had nights out dancing and joking. I've caught up with friends over coffee. I can still have a social life and *shock* have a good time even when I'm having a bad time with mental illness. I've written about having a [...]
101 Things No-one Tells You About Mania
It is more than just being happy Mania makes me feel euphoricMania makes me feel constantly 'on' and readyMania makes me feel a constant sense of anticipationSufferers all have slightly different periods of hypomania and mania. An episode could last daysAn episode could last weeksA hypomanic or manic episode could last monthsMania is not always [...]
Unexpected Stigma
I have been very lucky with the care I've received from medical professionals in the past few years since my diagnosis of bipolar and psychosis. The two psychiatrists who've been charged with my care have been understanding and respectful. All good news. That is, until this week. I have a new psychiatrist. My first appointment [...]
When You’re High Functioning With Mental Illness…
Being publicly high functioning despite a severe mental illness means people getting annoyed with you when you don't deliver on promises or can't give them emotional support. They don't realise all your effort is already exhausted maintaining that high functioning persona. Commitments pile up on you and you can slowly start to unravel if you're [...]
