I find myself pining for the person I become when I’m manic. I’ve written before about how mania isn’t always fun. I do miss it at times, no matter how many times I tell myself the negative aspects of it. Mania can be a mind blowing, euphoria filled trip. It’s honestly better than any drug […]
Mental Illness Is Complicated and Some People Just Don’t Get It
I’ve been really struggling this year… I’ve been out to gigs with friends. I’ve had nights out dancing and joking. I’ve caught up with friends over coffee. I can still have a social life and *shock* have a good time even when I’m having a bad time with mental illness. I’ve written about having a […]
101 Things No-one Tells You About Mania
It is more than just being happy Mania makes me feel euphoric Mania makes me feel constantly ‘on’ and ready Mania makes me feel a constant sense of anticipation Sufferers all have slightly different periods of hypomania and mania. An episode could last days An episode could last weeks A hypomanic or manic episode could […]
Unexpected Stigma
I have been very lucky with the care I’ve received from medical professionals in the past few years since my diagnosis of bipolar and psychosis. The two psychiatrists who’ve been charged with my care have been understanding and respectful. All good news. That is, until this week. I have a new psychiatrist. My first appointment […]
When You’re High Functioning With Mental Illness…
Being publicly high functioning despite a severe mental illness means people getting annoyed with you when you don’t deliver on promises or can’t give them emotional support. They don’t realise all your effort is already exhausted maintaining that high functioning persona. Commitments pile up on you and you can slowly start to unravel if you’re […]
Impatience And Bipolar
Impatience, real impatience: Jumping up and down Stamping my feet shouting, “I need to know NOW” There’s something about having bipolar that makes me impatient. When I’m depressed or manic, I need things to happen right now. For instance, at the moment, I’m waiting for three significant pieces of news. I’m beyond over waiting to hear […]
Ten Years Of Mental Illness
Ten years ago I was a whirlwind of extreme moods, constantly battling against each other. I would suffer from severe depression, which decimated my sense of self worth. I was constantly signed off ill from work, and my career suffered because of it. I always felt exhausted and for a twenty three year old that […]
Falling Through The Gap
I’ve lived with mental illness for more than half my life. Even so, it’s only been in the past few years where I’ve felt able to talk openly about bipolar, psychosis and bulimia. It’s everyones responsibility to help people like me find their voice. We shouldn’t have to feel brave for speaking up, we must […]
Is Mental Illness Your BFF?
Mental illness can overwhelm us at times. It can dictate our decisions, affect our relationships and stop us from doing the things we enjoy. Sometimes mental illness becomes more than just an illness, it becomes our life. Or to put it another way, our best friend. It’s an obsession we don’t want. An obsession with […]
A Life Lived Vividly Series: ‘I Thought The Voices Were Normal’ Realising I Had Psychosis
I suffer from bipolar disorder, well known for it’s symptoms of mania and depression. What many people don’t realise is that some sufferers also experience psychosis. These could include delusions, auditory, visual and tactile hallucinations. For me, I hear voices. This happens during periods of extreme moods, so when I’m manic or severely depressed. I […]