What do these photos say to you? You probably see a happy, smiling young person, enjoying life. The reality is I was ill in each of these photos. I'd either just had a diagnosis of bipolar, or was about to be diagnosed. You can't see it, but I was all over the place mentally - [...]
Through the years I've had many mental health crises. I've been on the brink of ending it all, of no longer wanting to fight, of no longer wanting to exist. Although I owe the NHS a great deal, they've also let me down when I've been at my most desperate. But there are people in [...]
Yep, the secret is out! I've been offered a publishing contract with Jessica Kingsley Publishers to write a book about bipolar disorder. The book is going to be a practical guide to bipolar disorder. I'll offer tips and advice on how to navigate daily life and how to manage symptoms. All of this will [...]
Mania for me always leads to overspending. I'll spend an exorbitant amount of money on useless, meaningless stuff. Shoes, bags, clothes, collectible toys, lego figurines (yes, really), games consoles, hotel rooms - I could go on and on. I'm not a materialistic person by nature, but with mania I just can't help myself. It's an [...]
I've been putting off seeing my doctor for ages. Why? I'm afraid. Afraid that they won't be able to help me. That they'll fob me off with a 'just keep doing what you're doing' response. Anxious that they'll want to change my medication. Again. I've had a difficult year with medical professionals. Long story short, [...]
TW: Suicidal ideation The period between 2003 - 2013 was a whirlwind of changes for me. The catalyst for these changes came from my online world. A place that held me safely in it’s hands. It was a place without judgement and a community full of compassionate individuals. I could feel the warmth and [...]
For the past few months I haven't been sleeping properly. It has taken over all aspects of my life. Most notably, here on my blog. I haven't blogged for months, because I simply haven't had the concentration span to finish a post. I've been irritable and moody. My short temper is now just a very [...]
Psychosis happens amongst people with the mental illnesses schizophrenia, schizoaffective disorder, post partum psychosis, and sometimes those with bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder and severe depression. Psychosis is experienced in two different ways; hallucinations and delusions. Hallucinations are when a person hears, sees, smells, tastes or feels something that isn’t really there. It’s a sensory [...]
I find myself pining for the person I become when I'm manic. I've written before about how mania isn't always fun. I do miss it at times, no matter how many times I tell myself the negative aspects of it. Mania can be a mind blowing, euphoria filled trip. It's honestly better than any drug [...]
I've been really struggling this year... I've been out to gigs with friends. I've had nights out dancing and joking. I've caught up with friends over coffee. I can still have a social life and *shock* have a good time even when I'm having a bad time with mental illness. I've written about having a [...]
