I've been putting off seeing my doctor for ages. Why? I'm afraid. Afraid that they won't be able to help me. That they'll fob me off with a 'just keep doing what you're doing' response. Anxious that they'll want to change my medication. Again. I've had a difficult year with medical professionals. Long story short, [...]
TW: Suicidal ideation The period between 2003 - 2013 was a whirlwind of changes for me. The catalyst for these changes came from my online world. A place that held me safely in it’s hands. It was a place without judgement and a community full of compassionate individuals. I could feel the warmth and [...]
For the past few months I haven't been sleeping properly. It has taken over all aspects of my life. Most notably, here on my blog. I haven't blogged for months, because I simply haven't had the concentration span to finish a post. I've been irritable and moody. My short temper is now just a very [...]
Psychosis happens amongst people with the mental illnesses schizophrenia, schizoaffective disorder, post partum psychosis, and sometimes those with bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder and severe depression. Psychosis is experienced in two different ways; hallucinations and delusions. Hallucinations are when a person hears, sees, smells, tastes or feels something that isn’t really there. It’s a sensory [...]
I find myself pining for the person I become when I'm manic. I've written before about how mania isn't always fun. I do miss it at times, no matter how many times I tell myself the negative aspects of it. Mania can be a mind blowing, euphoria filled trip. It's honestly better than any drug [...]
I've been really struggling this year... I've been out to gigs with friends. I've had nights out dancing and joking. I've caught up with friends over coffee. I can still have a social life and *shock* have a good time even when I'm having a bad time with mental illness. I've written about having a [...]
It is more than just being happy Mania makes me feel euphoricMania makes me feel constantly 'on' and readyMania makes me feel a constant sense of anticipationSufferers all have slightly different periods of hypomania and mania. An episode could last daysAn episode could last weeksA hypomanic or manic episode could last monthsMania is not always [...]
Being publicly high functioning despite a severe mental illness means people getting annoyed with you when you don't deliver on promises or can't give them emotional support. They don't realise all your effort is already exhausted maintaining that high functioning persona. Commitments pile up on you and you can slowly start to unravel if you're [...]
I've lived with mental illness for more than half my life. Even so, it's only been in the past few years where I've felt able to talk openly about bipolar, psychosis and bulimia. It's everyones responsibility to help people like me find their voice. We shouldn't have to feel brave for speaking up, we must [...]
I suffer from bipolar disorder, well known for it's symptoms of mania and depression. What many people don't realise is that some sufferers also experience psychosis. These could include delusions, auditory, visual and tactile hallucinations. For me, I hear voices. This happens during periods of extreme moods, so when I'm manic or severely depressed. I [...]
