I find myself pining for the person I become when I'm manic. I've written before about how mania isn't always fun. I do miss it at times, no matter how many times I tell myself the negative aspects of it. Mania can be a mind blowing, euphoria filled trip. It's honestly better than any drug [...]
I talk about my mental illness, a lot. I'm not ashamed of that. Living with mental illness is a huge part of my life and I can't ignore that fact. Unfortunately, being so honest leaves me open to criticism. Mostly, that I'm attention seeking. Why is talking met with such ferocious negativity? People think we're [...]
I wake up to my alarm ringing and the cat sitting on my head. I look across and my husband is still blissfully asleep. It's six o'clock. It's freezing. It's dark, and I have to be at work in an hour. It takes me twenty minutes to walk, or I can take the rammed packed [...]
I've been really struggling this year... I've been out to gigs with friends. I've had nights out dancing and joking. I've caught up with friends over coffee. I can still have a social life and *shock* have a good time even when I'm having a bad time with mental illness. I've written about having a [...]
It is more than just being happy Mania makes me feel euphoricMania makes me feel constantly 'on' and readyMania makes me feel a constant sense of anticipationSufferers all have slightly different periods of hypomania and mania. An episode could last daysAn episode could last weeksA hypomanic or manic episode could last monthsMania is not always [...]
On the bus earlier, there was a couple whispering a few rows behind me. It freaked me the fuck out. Why? It reminded me of the voices I hear. The cruel, whispering words that shake me to my core. I often hear whispering when I'm depressed, they're malicious and make me feel extremely vulnerable. I [...]
"They're mental" "So bipolar" "What a psycho" "That's crazy/insane" Lets be honest here; It's lazy and ignorant to use a mental illness to negatively describe someone. They're a myriad of words you can use to describe a situation, or person. It doesn't have to have anything to do with mental illness. What do you mean [...]
I have been very lucky with the care I've received from medical professionals in the past few years since my diagnosis of bipolar and psychosis. The two psychiatrists who've been charged with my care have been understanding and respectful. All good news. That is, until this week. I have a new psychiatrist. My first appointment [...]
Being publicly high functioning despite a severe mental illness means people getting annoyed with you when you don't deliver on promises or can't give them emotional support. They don't realise all your effort is already exhausted maintaining that high functioning persona. Commitments pile up on you and you can slowly start to unravel if you're [...]
Impatience, real impatience: Jumping up and down Stamping my feet shouting, "I need to know NOW" There's something about having bipolar that makes me impatient. When I'm depressed or manic, I need things to happen right now. For instance, at the moment, I'm waiting for three significant pieces of news. I'm beyond over waiting to hear [...]
