101 Things No one Tells You About Severe Depression

 

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  1. Depression is not glamorous.
  2. Depression is not fashionable.
  3. Depression and suicide should never be romanticised.
  4. Depression can be inflicted upon you when you’re at your most happiest and content.
  5. Depression is chaotic.
  6. Depression is full of frustration.
  7. Depression is confusing and bewildering.
  8. Depression is complicated and different for everyone.
  9. Depression is illogical.
  10. Depression is devastating.
  11. Depression is invasive.
  12. Depression does not discriminate.
  13. Depression is cruel.
  14. Depression is sneaky.
  15. Depression creeps up on you without you realising.
  16. Depression is a an obsession with your own self hate.
  17. Depression makes you fixate on the worst aspects of yourself.
  18. Depression will tell you you’re worthless.
  19. Depression will tell you you’re pathetic.
  20. Depression will tell you to give up.
  21. Depression will tell you everyone hates you.
  22. Depression will tell you you’re a freak.
  23. Depression will tell you that everyone will leave you.
  24. Depression will make you feel disgusted with yourself.
  25. Depression will make wild accusations about you and convince you they are true.
  26. Depression distorts your thought processes.
  27. Depression will cripple your ego.
  28. Depression will destroy your self esteem.
  29. Depression will make you feel guilty about everything.
  30. Depression will make you feel like a burden.
  31. You will ask yourself countless times, “Why me?”
  32. You will ask yourself countless times, “Why can’t I cope?”
  33. You will ask yourself countless times, “Why do I find everything so difficult?”
  34. Depression will make you vulnerable.
  35. Depression leads to obsessions and addictions.
  36. Depression will make you shut down.
  37. Depression will make you push yourself until you reach breaking point.
  38. The smallest event can be the catalyst for a depressive episode.
  39. Depression will make you feel guilty.
  40. Depression will make you feel you have let everyone down.
  41. Depression will make you feel embarrassed.
  42. Depression will make you feel ashamed.
  43. The more people want to help, the deeper your shame becomes.
  44. You will become accustomed to depression.
  45. Depression will make you feel paranoid.
  46. Depression will make you believe everyone is laughing at you and mocking you.
  47. Depression will make you close off from the world.
  48. Family and friends will walk on eggshells around you, never knowing what to say or how to react to you.
  49. You will ignore messages because you simply have no idea how to respond.
  50. Someone will talk to you, and you will have heard nothing of what they’ve said.
  51. When the phone rings or you receive a message, you will be filled with dread.
  52. Friends will become angry, or completely ignore you because you can’t answer their messages.
  53. You will not care about other people and what they are doing with their lives.
  54. There will feel like there is a wall between everyone else’s reality and your own.
  55. You will lose friends and become distant with family because of severe depression.
  56. Your sex drive will be nonexistent.
  57. Your lack of libido will put a strain on your relationship.
  58. You will wonder how you could ever possibly have felt happy.
  59. Clambering out of a depressive episode will feel insurmountable.
  60. Eating will become a comfort.
  61. Eating will be difficult because you feel you don’t deserve food.
  62. Depression will trigger other disorders you have suffered from in the past.
  63. Depression will trigger new disorders that you never thought you would suffer from.
  64. It will feel impossible to explain how you are feeling.
  65. You will feel blank and numb inside.
  66. You will feel so overwhelmed with emotion you feel paralysed.
  67. Feeling nothing will feel unbearable.
  68. Feeling too much will feel unbearable.
  69. Walking into a room and staring blankly for half an hour will become a regular occurrence.
  70. The world will look and feel dull and grey.
  71. Your body will ache from being so tense all the time.
  72. Your teeth will ache from clenching your jaw.
  73. You will sound different when you speak to how you normally do.
  74. The glint in your eyes will disappear.
  75. You will start to smell because you haven’t the energy or will to wash yourself.
  76. Clothes will be left unwashed for weeks.
  77. You will be irritable and snap at the people around you.
  78. Everything and everyone will annoy and irritate you.
  79. You will have suicidal thoughts daily.
  80. You can never quiet your mind from negative thoughts.
  81. The simplest tasks can feel overwhelming.
  82. Activities and hobbies that you loved will simply not interest you anymore.
  83. Your senses will feel dumbed down.
  84. You will not be able to concentrate.
  85. You will have to read the same page of a book dozens of times.
  86. You will have to watch the same programme over and over again because you will have taken nothing of it in.
  87. You will not be able to think clearly.
  88. The desperation to sleep can be powerful and all consuming.
  89. Your head will throb from tiredness.
  90. Your limbs will ache from sitting in bed for too long.
  91. Your hips and back will be in pain from sleeping or lying in bed for too long.
  92. You will not ask for help because you feel unworthy of it.
  93. You will feel like you need to be punished, and depression is your punishment.
  94. Depression will make you feel restless.
  95. Depression will make you feel on edge.
  96. The world will seem overwhelming.
  97. Depression can be difficult for an outsider to understand.
  98. Good things can happen whilst your depressed.
  99. You can have good days whilst being depressed.
  100. Depression does not turn you to stone, you can still laugh and smile on occasion.
  101. After depression you feel more empathy for others.

2 Comments

  1. Linda Hutchins August 3, 2017 / 9:04 pm

    This makes me so sad for you and my daughter, who suffers as you do. Always know your family love you as you are, as I do her. I have watched her endure most of your list and my heart breaks every day. Thank you for your thoughts, they help me understand her.

    • Katie Conibear August 4, 2017 / 12:18 pm

      Thank you x I’m glad it’s helping you understand x

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