I’ve taken the plunge and decided to write a novel. It’s been swirling around in my head for years, the idea of it, but now I’m in a place where I can put my head down and begin.
This isn’t foreign territory for me; I studied creative writing at University and have begun novels before. Unfortunately, I have never finished one, and I put that down to having Bipolar. About six years ago I was in the mire of novel writing and forty thousand plus words deep. It was a fiction fantasy novel and I felt very positive about how it was forming. My mind began to play tricks on me and I was plagued with self doubt. I started to believe that everything I had written was intrinsically flawed, that I was a pathetic failure who had deluded myself into believing I could write. I deleted it all. There were no backups, only a few hand written notes scrawled in a notebook.
After the depression lifted I was devastated at what I had done. I hadn’t been thinking clearly at all and when the haze lifted I couldn’t believe it had all gone. All that work, hours of effort and concentration for nothing. Now I always have backups of all the writing I’m working on, incase it happens again.
This time the novel will be non fiction and focusing on my experiences of living with Bipolar disorder. It will have a different style to my blog, with more descriptive metaphorical elements.
I will add regular updates on my progress here on the blog, more than anything to keep myself in check and on task.
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